Mother Nature can bite me

Every single time I log into facebook or twitter, someone is talking about hot weather, or sunburns, or boob sweat. Unless, they live in the Pacific Northwest where we are all freezing to death even though it’s June freaking first.

My propane bill is still gigantic every month, because each morning I stand in the hot shower until I’ve lost a foot in height from pruniness, because in the shower I’m warm. I’m still wearing flannel pajamas and a long-sleeved shirt and socks to bed every night. I’m still sleeping with a fleece duvet over my down comforter. I’m drinking hot tea every afternoon instead of iced tea. I practically live in fuzzy boots or fuzzy slippers. I still use my crockpot more than my BBQ. I’m pretty sure I’m a mere day away from death by Vitamin D deficiency, because the sun only comes out for about 12 seconds per week – usually while I’m standing in that extra long shower.

It’s especially frustrating to have crappy weather on a holiday weekend that is supposed to signify the beginning of the fun summer season. We were going to be outside doing summery things if it meaning drowning. We sat on the covered patio in fleece coats in the rain. We drank watery summer time beer in the rain. We BBQ’ed a roast in the rain. We played ladder golf and bean bag toss in the rain. See that pattern?

In February and March, we had a few really nice spring days. I bought new summer clothes. Every morning when I layer on my fleece, I look longingly at the clothes that will completely out of style when I finally get to wear them. I look at my kids who are so determined to be done with jeans for the school year that they’ve been wearing shorts with Under Armour tights underneath.

Excuse me while I go make some more cocoa.

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